I am going to take the plunge. I have been trying to decide if I wanted to post this one for a few days. It is pretty boring and I'm sure tedious, but I just think I better. I need the accountability and prayers. So, prepared to be bored.
I just need to say that I am taking a stand against FAT! Yes, I know. I have been here before. I have even been successful. I know how to do this. So, what's the problem? Right? Well, it is two fold. One, I don't want to backslide again. It is incredibly humiliating. That alone has kept me from doing this for a few months. "Tammie, you looked so good! What happened?" Second, and I think the biggest problem, I don't feel comfortable thin or of normal size. I don't know why. I know it sounds crazy. I just do. I feel like I have been large all my life.When I have been smaller, it is like putting on someone else's and clothes pretending to be them. I feel like I had not received the script for my 'new' life. Where do you all get this script anyway? Even the somewhat recent revelation that I was not an overweight child has not helped. I just feel gypped. All my life I was told that I was 'husky', 'large' or 'had to be careful of my weight.' I should have been learning to be confident in who I was instead of learning to hide and not be noticed in the crowd. After all, no one wants to be pointed out as the fat kid. I don't know why I feel lost and scared as a normal sized person, but I hope to find out in this journey. Please bare with me and pray that God reveals the answers so I don't fail again.
1 comment:
You are not a fatty. And you look good no matter what because of what's inside you. That's sounds so cheezy, but really it's true. I will pray for you to accomplish your goals and to find God's peace when you get there.
Much love!
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