Fill #2

I just had my second fill this morning. Sorry! No photos!

This visit didn't go as well as the last ones. I haven't lost as much as I should have. I know a part of that is my food choices. Another part is that I haven't started working out. Ugh!

Don't get me wrong. I have lost weight. Just not as much as I should have. Which, frankly, sucks.

I'm bummed.

But, not depressed.

Or defeated.

Just bummed.

So, as I drink my pureed soup, I have a lot to think about. Stuff like, not eating out as much. Oh! And making good choices every time I eat.

A part of me still wants to scream at the sky, "It's not fair! Other people eat like there is no tomorrow and never gain a pound!" But, what would that help? How would that make this journey easier? Or even help me get to my destination? Even though it is true, I have to face a dirty piece of truth. I can't eat like that. I have to watch everything that goes into my body. My journey, for some reason that only God knows, does not involve unlimited eating.

I, honestly, believe that each and every one of us has something that is a challenge in our lives. Whether it be food, self esteem issues, behaviour, or some thing else, we are meant to overcome it with God's help. I don't know why. And frankly, I doubt we only have one. But, I know that if I look at how unfair it is that I can't eat whatever I want, I will lose. I will end up just like before; Fat and Unhappy. I can't do that anymore. It obviously hasn't worked in the past. So, it is time to do something different.

So, that said. I am not going to let this 'set back of sorts' get me down. I am going to enjoy my liquid diet today and my mushy food tomorrow. Then, I will start being aware of my food choices like I did before Christmas. I will reach my next goal. (Which is to lose 30 lbs) I hope to reach this goal before my next fill; which is in three weeks. I will continue this journey and I will learn from my mistakes.

I will become the person I am in my dreams. (I'm never over-weight in my dreams. Are you?)