Every Tuesday, without fail, I watch The Biggest Loser. Each Tuesday, as I watch, I feel like a great, big loser. I try to get motivated by the 14 or so people that begin their weight loss journey in front of national TV. I try not to get depressed and eat a large bowl of ice cream. And sometimes I am strong and smart. Other times, the Caramel Turtle Fudge Bluebell ice cream in my freezer calls, yells, and does a little dance to get my attention. Then, I decide that the only way to get it to shut-up is to go eat some of it. Show it who's boss, so to speak.
Now, I know I have griped and moaned about my weight before. Some people have even watched me shrink and grow a couple of times. Which is why I have hesitated to mention it now. But, I have been feeling the pinch of more than tight pants. I have been concerned about my health. Nothing big. Nothing is wrong. It's just that I am tired of being the biggest person in a room. Tired of wanting to hide behind other people when pictures are being taken. Sick and tired of feeling unworthy to join in on the fun. Tired of being out of breath and sore with any minor exertion. Tired of not liking who I am when I look in the mirror.
Do you know that my biggest fear when riding a ride at the fair was whether I would fit in the seat or not? That thing twisted, twirled, went side to side and spun up side down. And I was worried about fitting in the seat! Talk about a loser.
Do you want to know what I see when I look at this picture?I see my big arms, my bigger stomach and enormous butt. It takes me a while to see and appreciate the fun we are having just being dorks.
So, I have decided to do something that I consider drastic. I have gone for some help. I won't go into boring details. No one wants to know those. But I do ask for your prayers. Also, I would appreciate all gifts of chocolate and cookies be given before Friday. Otherwise, can you send broccoli and cauliflower?
Yeah... I barely got that out without grimacing.
Better send those prayers out fast!
Maybe next Halloween, I will be able to look at our work picture and be proud!
1 comment:
Tammie I know totally understand how you feel. I dont even look at my pictures anymore. If you dont want to say what type of help you are getting understand, but if it works will you share the details with me?
If I hear about a crazy woman running up and down Desaua(cant spell it) on a huge sugar high Friday afternoon I will not be alarmed I will just know it is you!
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