Why does it take so long to get the results from any medical test? Why can't the person doing the test tell you what he/she saw on their little screen? OR - Why can't they at least say,"I can't tell you exactly what I saw because the doctors like that privilege, but I can say you have nothing to worry about" or, "Uh... You might want to call your doctor if you don't hear from him in the next 24-48 hours. Oh and you might want to start praying!" You know just a little hint of what lies in your future.
I had a MRI on Monday. The tech told me the doctor would have the results in 24-36 hours. I'm really not worried about the results. However, the very nature of the test lends itself to a little anxiety. I mean, how ofter does someone look at your innards? You never know. There might be something lurking in the dark. Like a tape worm or undigested snickers bar. Who knows? (Tape worm - Ha Ha! Like I have one of those!)
I just wish the doctor would call and give me the all clear so I can go on with my life. I think Jesse says it best. He calls it the Hurry Up and Wait Attitude. I know doctors are busy and there are a lot more patients than physicians. It is just so hard to be patient. If there is bad news, I want to know so I can deal with it. If the news is good or ambivalent, I want to know so I can forget being stuffed in a tiny, yet loud, tube. Plus, the longer I wait, the more time my imagination has to conger up all kinds of dreaded things that could cause my symptoms Like:
Cancer
That tiny fish in South America that swims up your urethra
degenerated disc
a conjoined twin with just an ear, a foot, and a ball of hair
an extra kidney
One less kidney
an alien pod
a government implant that tracks people who eat Ben and Jerry's
Did I mention Cancer?
a twisted intestine
Crohn's disease
Too much Salt and Vinegar Chips have eaten their way through my intestines
Not enough roughage
Too much roughage
If something is really sticky when you eat it can it stick to the walls of your intestines?
A build up gum from my childhood finally making it's way out
Who knows? I just wish Dr. Frank would call tomorrow.
1 comment:
i totally cracked up reading this. You'll be fine. I hope you hear soon. and when you do, spread the word. Because now we're all impatiently waiting too!
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