Who does it belong to?

I wish I could say that letting Mrs. Ruby know I how I feel about some things has helped, but I can't. So, maybe bogging about it will. Here goes!
We have several things in the house that she has left behind. She told us that it was all things that she no longer wanted or needed. We, both had the impression that the furniture was ours now. Well, Friday, she told Jess that she was going to take Adam's bed and put it next to the hospital bed in her bedroom. Jesse asked her what Adam was supposed to sleep on. She said that Adam could have her queen bed, because she didn't want her bed stored in the barn. Now, don't get me wrong. I have nothing against letting her use the twin bed. She needs one; now that they have the hospital bed. Jess and I were upset that she didn't ask. She just told us how it was going to be. After all, it belongs to her still. Right? Well, not to me and Jess. We thought the twin bed, king bed and a chair that she left here were given to us. Frankly, we don't like the king, but it has saved us from having to buy a bed for the guest room. Any way, I digress. So when we were talking about moving everything. I asked her who the king bed belonged to. She looked at me like I was asking a stupid question and said, "It belongs to me, of course." So I said, "OK. Then I need to know what other things we are 'storing' for you. Because, we were under the impression that you were giving us that furniture to do with what we pleased." Needless to say, the tears started up and I am a witch of a person now. I did finally get it understood that we didn't have a problem switching beds, but she should have asked. She just can't order us and our world around. At first, I thought she understood, but then she just got angry. So, I am now persona non grata.
Jesse says she is more upset because it came from me and not him. She tends to blow him off most of the time. I don't know.
I do think I figured something out about her. I have heard both Jess's brother and his wife complain of her taking things back or some such thing. I have heard her say that she was going to call Beth or Anna and have them bring back one thing or another that she wanted to use again. Which, frankly, blows my feeble mind. I think she is comfortable doing this, because in her mind she never "gives away" anything. She lets people borrow, store, or use things until she wants them back. That way her conscious is clear. However, she never comes out and says exactly that. She asks people if they could use a table because she doesn't need it right now. Or, she say that she doesn't have the room or place to store a chair. Could you use it? I'm sure to her she is making it clear that she may one day call and ask for it back. Maybe I'm just too dumb to hear what she is really saying. I don't know. I do know that I am very leery of taking anything she offers- even a planter. I hate having to be leery of family.