Yuck!
I'm stuck!
Can't get out-
Of my nasty rut!
Yep. That's me. I can't seem to get on with my life. Other than work and things I HAVE to do, I'm not doing anything. But I think I have it figured out. And what it's going to take, to get my out of this mess, is a whole lot of mental elbow grease. Which is dreadful! Mental elbow grease is the worst kind. It's all sticky and gooey. Once you clean off one thing it uncovers another. Ugh!
Now don't think I'm going to counseling or anything. (Not right now anyway. Never say never - Right?!) It's not that kind of mental problem. The problem I have is mental laziness. That's the only way I can describe it. All year long I have had a pretty darn good excuse for being tired all the time.
- I was sick - didn't know it - but still.
- I had surgery - pretty darn good reason, I think.
- I had to recuperate right?
Well, to be generous to my psyche, that gets me through November 1st. That leaves two months that I should have been doing things when I am home. Two whole months that I could have been busy with things. Things I love and don't love to do. Things that need to be done. Unfortunately, things that haven't been getting done. Can I hear a great big UGH!
I think what is going on is this - I got used to being tired. Does that make any sense? Maybe not. Look. It has been like this all year.I would go to work or something equally strenuous like going shopping or something. When I got home, I would collapse; literally exhausted. Thus, my day would be finished.
Now, this has gone on for most of the year. So now that I am feeling pretty, darn good, I am finding it very hard to do what I want and need to do. This week, it finally hit me why. I got so darn used to being a lazy bones, that I couldn't shake it.
So, what to do? Well, that goes back to the elbow grease. I'm going to have to make myself do things. (How's that for a New Years Resolution? I will not be a lazy bum!) I am happy to say that I have started the new year out right. I'm feeling better about myself already. (All that laziness brings you down! I don't recommend it to anyone.) I still have to battle my mental-self to do things, but once I get started, the battle is over. I think that is a good sign.
Now that I have spilt my guts about my lazy self, what are your New year resolutions? Anybody got one that isn't losing weight? (I think that one is taken for granted for most everybody. Even those that look like twigs seem to want to lose a pound or two.)
2 comments:
I hear your frustration with yourself. I struggle the same way--I get the stuff done I have to do but just can't get enthused about doing more. And I must say that I think you did an outstanding job of decorating for Christmas. Your house was so pretty and cheery and as Adam said--just exploded with Christmas. I just loved it. And all that good food. No laziness there for sure. Maybe you just have not found that thing to inspire you out of your rut--the motivation you need. I think when spring weather arrives you will perk up. Just don't be too hard on yourself.
I understand the stuck feeling. I've had a sort of weird year, too, but not as dramatic as yours. Having my legs drilled on and continuous back stuff has me feeling like I'm just ready to be normal. And then when normal comes you sort of sit dumbfounded looking at yourself and wondering what to do.
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