Now, I am happy to support the troops. I just always thought it would be in the form of oatmeal raisin cookies, duct tape, toilet paper, and energy drinks. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would provide a laugh and maybe just a little taste of home. If I were them, I'd choose the oatmeal raisin cookies. However, toilet paper would be on the top of my list, too. But then, I am partial to toilet paper. Maybe when you are in the army you don't need toilet paper as much.
"TOILET PAPER!!! Boy, you are in the United States ARMY! You don't NEED Toilet Paper! Where do you think you are? At your mama's house? Let's call your mama to get you some TOILET PAPER! You are in MY house now, soldier! And I say - Use the sand!!!!"
"Sir! Yes, Sir!"
For goodness sakes! I just made my stomach hurt thinking of my son using sand to wipe his hiney. I am just pitiful. Can't even joke around without causing some sort of anxiety about toilet paper. This is getting crazy. I will not worry about every little thing. I will not.Surely, they have some toilet paper. Right?! I'm not talking Charmin and Cottonelle. Just one ply would do the trick. After all, they are soldiers. They can handle one ply. If I find out that the United States Army doesn't provide toilet paper to our troops, I'm starting a grass roots movement to collect and send toilet paper to Afghanistan and Iraq. Don't you know the sand over there is hot?! And sand gets in everywhere. Everywhere!!!
Well, guys of the 344, if you are reading this, this mom salutes you! Oatmeal raisin cookies and toilet paper are on their way!
3 comments:
That's so awesome! Well, you're a good writer and deserve a good audience. Can't think of a better match!
You are so funny. I look forward to future blogs as you keep the troops and me laughing.
If your son NEEDS toilet paper I will be glad to hop on the band wagon and make sure he gets toilet paper :) Where do I send it?
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