What the HECK?????

Jess came home last night and wrote me a note. It said:

Tammie,

You are going to get a breast exam this week.

This is non-negotiable.

Tell me who to call so I can set up the appt.

Wake me up at 6:30.

Now, I know that there is a lot of love and concern behind this note. I even know that it was prompted by the discovery that a wife of one of his friends was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. He found out last night. So, therefore, I got the note.

Now don't be expecting me to try to back out of this. I'm not going to do that. I know how important it is to him. Frankly, I have been meaning to do it. Life just seems to keep getting in the way. Needless to say, a mammogram has not been at the top of my priority list.

I said all of that just to do one thing. Seriously, what I needed to do with this entry was get a song out of my head. It started at 6:40 this morning and has been playing relentlessly all day. I thought if I wrote it down - for all the world to see, it might show pity on me and leave. I fully realize that I run the risk of it getting stuck in someone else's head for a while. But that is a risk I am willing to take.

This little ditty is to the tune Lollipop. Please don't hate me for the bad lyrics and not following the tune precisely. I can't be responsible for all that my freaked out brain comes out with.

Mammogram, Mammogram, Got to get a Mammogram

Squeeze!

*ouch* *ouch* *ouch* *ouch*

Got to get a mammogram.

My man says it time.

Easy for him to say,

the booby's mine

At least I have some

to plop on the plate.

It could be worse though,

What if I had eight?

Promised him I'd get it done

It's just about time.

But, things like this should

be labeled a crime.

Time for a ...

Mammogram, mammogram

Got to get a mammogram

Mammogram, mammogram

Dreadful, yucky mammogram

Mammogram!

Squeeze

*ouch* *ouch* *ouch* *ouch*

Lose my dignity

On a cold metal plate.

Get the girl's smashed

Now, isn't that great!

Hope the nurse there

really has seen it all

stretch marks, dangly boobs

You don't see at the mall

I know it's the smartest-

thing I can do.

There's a mammogram

waiting for you!

Go get a...

Mammogram, mammogram
Got to get a mammogram
Mammogram, mammogram
Dreadful, yucky mammogram
Mammogram!

Squeeze
*ouch* *ouch* *ouch* *ouch*

Well, I feel a LOT better.