I did it. It killed me to make that phone call, but I did. It had to be done. There was no way I was going to be able to drive for an hour, work like I know I should, and drive back home. So, I called Joana, my boss - though she hates being called that, and told her I was not going to be able to come to work this Thursday as planned.
Not only was I letting my co-workers down and not following thru with my plans. (I hate breaking plans I have made for myself. It gets under my skin and just chafes.) BUT- I knew I was sentencing myself to another 4 days, at least, of house arrest. Egad!
I know you are thinking what I thought. You're thinking that you could get so much done with 2 weeks at home. Even knowing that I was going to be sore and tired, I had made a list. I was convinced that I would spend the 2nd week organizing closets, clearing out drawers of unused clutter, signing up for bike rides for November, etc...
All I needed to do was be careful and not lift anything over ten pounds. Piece of cake! Not if you have magical powers or are telekinetic, that is. Otherwise, tons of things weigh ten pounds. Did you know a gallon of milk weighs 8 pounds? Let's not talk about a basket of dirty laundry. Who knew undies and pj's weighed so much? But I digress. The real reason I haven't done much is because I feel like I've been hit by a truck every time I try to do something.
I have gone for a 1/2 mile walk, stopped at a convenience store, been to HEB twice, had a pedicure, and took Jess his lunch. Sounds like a good day right? Try stretching that over 4 days. While riding in the car, I can feel my insides jiggling and bouncing with every bump. Stepping over curbs - hurt. Walking at a normal speed - hurts. Coughing or laughing - you guessed it - hurts.
I know I am whining. And totally feeling sorry for myself. I am just so frustrated with my slow healing body. I truly thought I would get a good rest and feel like I had accomplished something during this time. I haven't done anything other than frame a bunch of pictures and hang them on the wall.
I'm feeling like a lazy, loser. I know it isn't true and that I have a very good excuse. I keep telling myself that. But after watching TV for umpteen hours and reading several books, my mind tends to wander to all the things I should be doing. Whoa is me! I'm such a sad sack.
Did you know that Little House on the Prairie comes on 4 times a day on the Hallmark channel. I love that show, but little Half Pint is starting to get on my nerves. Was she always that perfect? And what about the Lifetime channel? Talk about a bunch of dysfunctional, wimpy, always falling in love with the guy that saves them - women!
Well, I'm going to stop now, before I embarrass myself anymore. Hope everyone is having a great day. I can't wait for Julie to get back. Hope Tania's dad gets to go home soon and that she is recovering from her procedure. Love you all!
2 comments:
Oh, don't be so hard on yourself! You just had major surgery!!! I'm so sad for you that you hurt so much. I can't imagine how much you hurt. Ugh. Ouch! Ouch again. Just take it easy. I hope this week was better for you and that you are back into some of the things that seem more normal...like walking, etc.
T,
I can't imagine what all you have been through. I just read your surgery blog, and my heart is just breaking for all that you have been through. You always try to seem so strong! ANd you are, but I can tell that you have been through a lot. I feel so much sadness for you that you were unable to attend Papa's funeral. And to be so full of pain and really unable to mourn with everyone else. I can only imagine what all that was like. But when you are hurting you just have to do the best you can to hang on so you can make it through the next step or even the next breath. And yet you wanted so badly to be there for everyone else.
And I don't know what "packing" is but it sounds painful. At first I thought you meant you were packing your bags, but I couldn't figure out why you would be worried about your clothes when you were trying to leave the hospital.
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