I got a bit of news today that has had me thinking every since. My boss, JJ, told me that a full time COTA (that's me) position may be opening in Bertram. She wanted to let me know because she understands the crunch the gas prices are putting on me - as well as everyone else. She was quick to say that she doesn't want me to go, but she felt it only fair that I know. She followed this bit of news with an even bigger one. There may be a rehab directors position, in the same area, coming up soon, also. And she thinks I can do the job!
Frankly, I'm floored. I have been working in geriatrics for almost a year. That has been just enough time for me to realize exactly how much I don't know. Consequently, I don't feel completely confident in my skills. I worry I am short changing the very people that come to me for help. I find myself constantly watching the other therapists- just trying to catch something I can do better. Needless to say, it has been a hard year on my ego.
That she doesn't want me to go doesn't surprise me. I am a hard worker. I see all my patients with as little down time as possible. I am pretty easy to get along with. (despite what some may say.) Finally, the residents like me - which is what I thought has been saving my bacon.
So, I am flattered. I am proud. And I am torn. All day long this war has raged inside of me. One side says, "You'll be 15 miles from home! No more hours lost on the highway each week! Jesse won't have to cook all the weekday meals. There is a possibility to move up the ladder! I could be a manager!" The other side says, "You love it in Dripping Springs! You won't like working any where else! You'll be leaving two jobs in the lurch, not just one! You'd make a horrible manager! You have no skills!" (As you can see, it is getting ugly.)
If I am this conflicted now, what am I going to do if the opportunity really does knock?! So, will you please pray? Pray that I know what He wants me to do. Pray that I have a peace for His plan for me. Pray that He works it out for everyone involved. Pray that I get a grip and don't get worked up about something that may not come to pass.
I'm so incredibly weird!
Who else worries this much over something that might happen.
Geez!
I embarrass myself.
It's just that, in my heart, it feels like it is going to happen.
OK. There I go again!
I'm stopping now.
Really.
4 comments:
Sounds like a great opportunity to me. Everyone knows how awesome you are in your work(not to mention how dedicated you alway are). I hope you are able to make a decision that your happy with! I love you
Who else worries that much over something that might happen? Seriously? I think you already know that answer... you just don't know the best way to get there. That'll work it's way to the surface soon enough. Put in the application, pray, and wait and see. I love you girl. I can't wait to see what He's up to!
What a great opportunity! I really hope that the doors that need to be opened and if a decision needs to be made, it's an easy one!
And I took a pregnancy test - it was negative. That's what the whole negative post was about...that's the only kind of good negativity... : )
I am extemely happy for you! And I don't think you're the only person who goes through all the what ifs. Completely normal, you just forgot for a second. I think you would make a terrific director. And I think working close to home is invaluable. But that's only my OPINION. I will pray for God to give you wisdom. Can you visit the one in Bertram to see if you like it? Just an idea.
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