Things are soo much better than they were. My manager took a weeks vacation last week and is training at a different facility for two weeks. So, consequently, I am now acting supervisor. EEKS! I am happy to say, that I have not burned down the building. Nor, have I caused any major meltdowns or made any major mistakes. (Of course I can hear you all gasping; thinking I have just jinxed myself. However, since I am literally praying through my day, I don't believe God will let that happen.) I wish I could take all the credit, but I can't. Not only do I have a great team to work with, but I have the one and only Lord of All on my side. I fully realize I would not be able to make it through the day without his Grace and Peace. I would be a nervous wreck; unable to think of anything I am supposed to do. I want to thank you all for your prayers and support over the last few weeks. Thank you very much!
It is amazing how stress from work coupled with stress in the rest of your life can make you feel like you are being crushed to death in some small room where the walls are moving closer, closer and closer. The walls have moved back to where they belong. I can now breathe. But, I am tired. Not physically - hahahah! Yeah, let's move on. I am mentally and emotionally tired. So,even though things have improved greatly on all fronts, I was not surprised when I found myself in a huge hermit mode. When I am off of work, I just want to stay at home with my hubby (or maybe not.) I feel like Fisherhead and I need to connect for a while. Before we can start branching out to do our own things again. I, also, feel like I need to stock up my emotional and mental reserves. I don't know how long this will last. But, if past experience rings true, it will lift just as quickly as it dropped onto me. (I am one of those people that not only cherish my alone time, but NEED it.) I just hope that no one takes this personally. It has nothing to do with anyone, but myself. I know that there are others, strange and alien people, that are actually built up by being with other people. I don't get that. I can't even wrap my tiny mind around it. I respect it, but don't understand it.
With all that said, I am confused by a sudden development that hit me today. I have been crying over everything. And I mean EVERYTHING! I was listening to a book on CD on my way home today. It was Queen of the Big Time by Andriana Trigiani. (Great Author! I love, love, love her books. Read one today! I mean it! Big Stone Gap is wonderful!) I cried about everything in that book, today. I was a wet, blubbery mess. I swear! A completely, soaked, drippy, dish sponge would have made less of a mess. Songs on the radio? Yep, made me cry. Then, I read Tania's blog and just about fell apart at the seams. I can relate so much to how she feels about her girls. Believe it or not, I am crying at Biggest Loser, right now! Those poor chubby people! The are so unhappy. And don't like themselves so very much. It is just sad. Then they make them leave?! It is just devastating. To top it off I chopped two onions today. They just added to the flow of teary-ness. I am seriously hoping that this is just a hormonal byproduct. Surely it is. I don't feel like I am having a nervous breakdown. I'm just teary. Surely it won't last long. But, if you happen to see me in the store, crying uncontrollably over a box of those cute animal crackers because the elephant lost his head, I will understand if you pretend that you don't know me.
2 comments:
You are so funny. You have an uncanny ability to make me laugh about such serious things. Maybe because you write about things I can relate to. My guess is (and you're talking to a VERY hormonal pregant lady) that your emotions are just taxed from the strain at work. Though things are better in some ways it seems it would be a lot of pressure to be the A-1 boss. Add on all the hard weeks, the need to stay home, and I'm crying for you! Yes, I am one of those weirdos who LOVES to be with people! Don't worry I'm not offended because it seems bazaar to me, too. Why is it that when I'm completely exhausted from being with people all day and working myself to death that I cry because I want to be with friends??? Crazy. Crazy. Crazy, I tell you! So, I get what you're saying, just in an opposite sort of way. So, while I'm over here missing you, I hope you have a great time hunkering down in your hermit hole. I'll pray for you to have rest, my friend! Love ya!!! Glad things are going better at work.
I am so glad all is going well at work. And I TOTALLY understand your need to be alone. I go nuts if I do not have time alone. That is how I recharge. I cherish my time alone. So don't feel bad about being like that--it is just how we are wired. And I, too, understand about the bursting into tears over everything. One thing to remember after a hysterectomy if you still have your ovaries--you will still go through the monthly emotional upheaval but you won't be able to keep track of it on the calendar as easily as you used to be able to. It just sneaks up on you and slams you for a loop. Today is my day for being like that. I just want to cry for no real reason. Just need the release. So I understand and hope you are all better soon. I sure do love you and miss you--and like Tania, I love how you make me laugh even in the midst of all your struggles.
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