Then, reality sets in.
By the middle of December, my head is spinning and I am thinking about throwing gift cards at everyone. The bakery at HEB is looking better and better everyday. And I'm beginning to wonder if anyone will really see the Christmas lights since we live so far out in the boonies?
Then what happens?
The Spirit of Christmas Guilt comes to visit. In a not so quiet voice that drips with disdain, it says, "What? You're not going to bake fresh cookies this year? What would Adam do without his yearly Reindeer Balls? And you're thinking of buying candy from a store! What a horrible mother you are. You know Amber loves Glass candy. Papa just loves the lights in the trees. It is such a shame that he will not be able to see them this year. All because you are too tired put them up and then turn them on and off every night. And gift cards?! What are you thinking? Can't you think of one little thing that you loved ones would enjoy? Tsk Tsk. Oh by the way, can't you tie a pretty bow like your friend? You don't won't your presents to look like you don't care. Blah Blah Blah....." On it goes, until Christmas day.
Finally, the magical morning appears -
And I am completely exhausted. I really don't care if the cookies taste good or if the lights have blown a few bulbs and now only 1/2 the string will come on. Some of the presents are wrapped with an abundance of sad, tired bows (from being lucky enough to be the first ones under the tree.) The others are tossed into bags with a piece of tissue paper sticking out of it (if I was able to find some.) I'm busy telling people that if they don't like the gift they received I saved the receipt. After all, What do you buy an 83 year old person that went on a shopping spree the first of the month? Then, I secretly hope that they like it. Not only because it means they are happy, but, also, because I'm not sure where I put that receipt. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I'm hoping the gifts I shipped will arrive sometime before Easter.
Oh, I completely enjoy, and still look forward to seeing, all our loved ones. I love having everyone around. I love it when someone likes and really enjoys a gift they have received. It is just that I spend half my time thinking of a nap. Sad, isn't it? I don't think that Christmas will ever lose it's magic for me. It just starts to get buried under all the obligations and expectations of the season. And frankly, I don't like it. I just want a little time each day to sit next to my tree and stare in awe and wonder - not at my shopping or baking lists in awe and desperation.
Well, now that I have thoroughly depressed everyone - Merry Christmas! Ho Ho Ho!
3 comments:
Oh, that is so very true! As the years go by I get more and more this way. So funny, really. I love, love, love the holiday and yet there is so much to do. I loved your comments.
You expressed all my thouhts so perfectly--so absolutely perfectly. I agree with all you said. I love Christmas, too, but wish the house would magically get decorated---yet, I love opening that box of ornaments and having all the memories of each ornament released and reliving bygone days they bring to mind. I do love the decorating--it is just all the other stuff that must be done at the same time that crushes the spirit out of it sometimes. But I will not belabor the points you already made. I still love everything to do with Christmas--the lights and all of it. thanks for writing this and sharing it. And a very Merry Christmas to you.
You have just written so perfectly what I felt on Sunday night. I was so overwhelmed by "Christmas" things that I actually cried because I was not getting to enjoy christmas! Now, how silly is that!?
I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way!
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